Who is the hero in my story? I've been torn for a while now. I'm trying to be my own hero. Pull myself up by my bootstraps. Slay depression. Gain back what is lost. Inspire the world. Change something for the better.
I used to imagine some character popping into my life & bringing me on all sorts of adventures. I used to want that brave impulsive creative friend always getting me in trouble. I wanted to be a vicarious hero I suppose. The Gus to somebody's Shawn Spencer.
Because I swear I have all this power for good somewhere in me. I swear my heart is impulsive & mighty & wonderfully breakable & regenerative.
But I feel paralyzed when I try to decide where to go with it.
& I've been so lonely. I know how much my life could change in a day. I've got amazing friends all over the country. Somebody will come along someday & it'll just click & we'll laugh & talk & do all the things that I miss.
But things aren't so bad right now. & I can't sit around waiting for them to appear. I guess we all want to change the world. I just want to live a life that matters in some small measure.
No comments:
Post a Comment